


It was always you

by SwarleySparkles95



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Dreams, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Love Confessions, M/M, Nightmares, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-18 14:31:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8165257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SwarleySparkles95/pseuds/SwarleySparkles95
Summary: Jean has been struggling with his feelings for Marco for years. He can't deny he loves him no matter how hard he tries. Sitting in the church watching his best friend marry someone else he knows he will never love another the way he loves Marco. All he wants is to turn back time and confess everything to Marco but he's too late- or is he? 
This is based off of the lyrics the Maroon 5 song ' It was always you'. It starts off a little sad but I promise it's a happy ending!





	

**Author's Note:**

> Woke up sweating from a dream  
> With a different kind of feeling  
> All day long my heart was beating  
> Searching for the meaning  
> Hazel eyes I was so color blind  
> We were just wasting time  
> For my whole life  
> We never crossed the line  
> Only friends in my mind  
> But now I realized  
> It was always you  
> Can't believe I could not see it all this time, all this time  
> It was always you  
> 

This was it. The raw pain twisting in Jean’s stomach as if it was burrowing deeper into him emphasised the finality of it all. The regret, the anxiety, the pure sorrow of it all, his own cocktail of negative emotions swirling within him at what was supposed to be an event for celebration. His best friend’s wedding day.  
Looking at the groom whom he had known since the age of 15 Jean bit his lip to stop bitter tears from flowing. His soft black hair in its usual parting, freckles adoring his cheeks as they always had done, a light pink splayed across his cheeks as his hazel eyes glanced towards his partner with a shy smile playing on his lips. He looked beautiful. Jean hated Oliver with a buring passion of a thousand suns, mainly because he was sweet and charming and everything Marco deserved, everything Jean couldn’t be. He only had himself to blame. He had never been willing to admit the building of romantic feelings towards his best friend as a teen and hadn’t accepted them enough in his young adulthood to act on them. He knew he was in love with his best friend but the fear of rejection and the stigma that would come from his colleagues for not being straight constricted him. But in that time he had spent grappling with his feelings, desperate to try and get over Marco through meaningless one night stands Marco had met Oliver and before he knew it he was here.  
Memories flooded Jean as he sat miserably in the pew. The first time they’d met after Marco had transferred to his school, their first time hanging out outside of class, the time under the Christmas lights they’d spent talking about their plans for the holidays and Jean had realised what it truly meant to fall in love with someone. Clenching his fists in his lap he stared at his hands willing himself to contain his tears. When he looked up a few moments later his eyes locked with Marco. His face which had been in a relaxed smile morphed subtly into one of deep concern. Swallowing deeply Jean gave a weak smile back, watery tears evident in his eyes. Marco smiled softly back before turning to Oliver and the priest.  
The rest of the ceremony went by in a blur for Jean, almost as if everything had slowed down but he was snapped back when the phrase ‘you may now kiss the groom’ echoed through the church. Watching that kiss between Marco and Oliver, desperately wishing it was him in Oliver’s place, was too much for Jean to take. Being on the end of a row it was easy for him to slip out, pace increasing the closer he got to the doors desperate to get away. What he didn’t see amongst the family and friends swarming the new couple to wish congratulations, was Marco who looked after him sadness and concern etched on his face.  
Crawled in on himself in a corner outside of the church building Jean hugged his knees and sobbed desperately. He hated everything in this moment, but there was nothing he hated more than himself. He choked on tears desperate to turn back the clock, grow a pair and tell Marco everything. But it was impossible, he’d been too late.  
************************ “Jean?”  
A soft voice quietly called out to him. Marco carefully crouched down and approached him as if encountering a fragile and scared animal. Biting his lip hard Jean looked up at him as more tears flowed.  
“Jean what’s going on?” Marco asked in a tone conveying extreme worry and care whilst wrapping his arms around him. Jean latched on and sobbed for all he was worth not caring if he got tearstains on Marco’s clothes.  
“I ….I”  
“What is it Jean?” Marco asked carefully rubbing smooth circles into his back.  
“I wish it was me” Jean breathed out with a hiccup and a sob clutching on even tighter to Marco.  
Marco gave a soft laugh. “You’ll find her one day Jean. I know you will.”  
Jean shook his head “That’s not…that’s not w-what I want”  
Marco pulled back so he could look Jean in the eyes.  
“I don’t understand”  
“I would only ever want to marry you” Jean confessed looking up into Marco’s brown eyes, his eyes overflowing with yet more tears.  
“What?” Marco managed to breathe.  
“I don’t want anyone else. They’re not you, I want to marry you. I’m so sorry” Jean stuttered through and hung his head in shame.  
“Do you mean this?” Marco pressed, tears starting to flow from his own eyes.  
“I wouldn’t lie to you” Jean sniffed with a weak watery smile “But you love him and I’m happy for you, truly. I’m so sorry I’m being so selfish it was just so hard to watch today” Jean rambled on.  
Marco felt like he had been smacked in the face. Who was he kidding? He’d always loved Jean and now more than ever he felt like he was being an awful human being by marrying Oliver. Of course he wasn’t, he was simply being human. Feeling like he knew Jean would never love him back he tried to move on and if a lovely human being was willing to give him that love he so craved he was going to welcome it with open arms, hoping it would mend his broken heart. Now he felt it shatter all over again.  
“Jean” Marco breathed as he cupped Jean’s face in both hands. “I have always loved you”  
Jean snapped his head up, heart pounding searching Marco’s face. He looked heart broken and more open than he had ever been.  
“ You…you have?”  
Marco smiled whilst tears ran down his face “ Of course I have”  
“Leave with me. Please I promise I’ll do anything to make you happy. I love you so much and I will never make the mistake of not showing you or telling you again” Jean sobbed.  
Marco let his eyelids closed as more tears overflowed.  
“Jean I can’t. I love you so much, so much. But I can’t do that to Oliver. I’m sorry but you’re just too late. Know that I will always love you.”  
Leaning forward Marco pressed his lips to Jean’s in a soft but passionate kiss before he had to move away, feeling too much and knowing his heart would only break more. Gently he got off from the ground and walked back towards the guests at the front of the church. Jean’s chest started to ache, his shaking got worse as he rocked back and forth practically howling his breathing coming in short breaths…..  
******************************************* Jean bolted upright as his breathing came in breathy gasps and he clutched at his chest. He was in bed at home after a long and stressful week at work. Reaching up to touch his face he noticed it was wet and he’d been crying in his sleep from that awful dream. He remembered everything and his heart psychically ached. He had to go through everything and try and distinguish what was real. He was in love with Marco- definitely real, wedding- fake, and Oliver- fake, pointless one night stands trying to stop thinking about Marco- real. Marco’s feelings towards Jean…Jean paused his thinking. He had no idea how Marco felt towards him. Regardless this was the slap in the face Jean needed. Yes if he was rejected it would be heart-breaking and he would be forever hurt but nothing could compare with the pain he had felt in that dream- that terrifying finality and the regret that he hadn’t tried harder to win Marco. No not this time.  
Turning the alarm clock on the side of the bed the time red 3am. Jean pondered for a second briefly contemplating that it was way too early to go to Marco and confess, even if it was a Saturday morning with no work the next day. It was quickly replaced with another irrational daydream. A fire alarm going off and Marco meeting the man from his dream as a fire fighter. Jean sprinted to his wardrobe flinging on clothes and lacing up shoes faster than he ever had in his life. He couldn’t afford to waste any time. Oliver or the equivalent could be living in that apartment block. Any time Jean wasted was time for that guy to get ahead. Marco was pure gold and people would definitely try.  
Half an hour later found him at Marco’s apartment block, out of breath from his desperation to get there. The building still completely intact and no sweet fireman to be found. Jean pressed the button impatiently.  
“Mmm ….. Hello?” A very sleepy sounding Marco answered.  
“Marco it’s me” Jean’s voiced wavered between nervous energy and pure joy, his mind re-iterating over and over again that Marco was in fact still very much single and hadn’t been stolen from him.  
“Jean? What are you doing here? It’s 3:40 in the morning.”  
“Marco I really really really need to talk to you”  
A sigh was heard over the intercom before the long buzz from the speaker notified Jean Marco had given him access. Sprinting up the stairs two at time he reached Marco’s door within under a minute. He knocked quietly so as to not disturb the neighbours. Marco carefully unlocked the door from behind and when the door was finally fully opened Jean swore he felt his heart soar. Marco had bed hair sticking in every direction, his eyes were half lidded and he was only wearing boxers. He had never looked so endearing. Happy giggled erupted from Jean as if he was a champagne bottled that had just been popped, knowing that he had this chance to make it right. Stepping back to let Jean in and shutting the door Marco turned to talk to him.  
“What’s going on? What’s so urgent you need to be here this early? Are you okay?” Marco mumbled clearly still not fully awake.  
“I’m sorry I know this is crazy but this is something I have to do, something I should have done years ago.”  
Marco gave Jean a confused and worried look but Jean sped on ahead, high on the adrenaline that he was going to finally do this and that this was real, a smile wide on his face.  
“Marco I have been in love with you forever and I can’t take you not knowing anymore. I had this horrible dream I lost you to someone else and I know that makes it seem like just wanting something you can’t have but I promise you it’s not. I can’t make that mistake, I don’t want to lose you because I was a coward. If you don’t love me then I would never pressure you to be with me but if you do I swear I would do anything and everything to make you happy.” Jean concluded with a deep breath.  
Marco’s eyes had been getting wider and wider the more Jean rambled through his confession. He stared at Jean mouth starting to hang open leaving Jean feeling nervous by the end of it.  
“You mean it?” Marco managed to speak out.  
Jean smiled anxiously. “Every word”  
Marco grinned back, a smile lighting up all his features. “Thank god, I love you so much I was just too scared to say anything” he confessed as he wrapped his arms around Jean’s shoulders and nuzzled into his neck happy tears trailing down his cheeks.  
“I’m sorry I kept you waiting” Jean murmured before finally kissing Marco the way he had always wanted to. Softly and full of all the love he had ever felt for him. They went back to bed exhausted from the emotions they had been feeling that night and fell asleep in each other’s arms.  
A lot had changed for the two of them after that night. The next morning Marco had woken up expecting it all to have been a dream and was overcome with such emotions of relief and joy that he shook Jean awake and told him he loved him over and over until Jean silenced him with kisses. The months rolled by and they became more serious telling their friends and families that they had finally become a couple. Most people were overjoyed that the two had sorted themselves out, the only issue being Jean’s colleagues. But it hadn’t of mattered anyway as Jean secured a higher ranking job in another company and he moved into an environment which was much more accepting. After six months of dating Jean moved in with Marco. A year after that the two stood at the altar of a church, dressed in black suits, hand in hand surrounded by their friends and loved ones. Looking into the eyes of his new husband Jean couldn’t help but think of how grateful he was for that fated night and the horrible dream that would bring so much happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to everyone reading! Any comments/ critiques/ kudos are very much welcomed :)


End file.
